Dan praising Jesus for the waitress who perfectly captured on camera  the ‘fifth wheel’ moment

(Source: cuddlyhowell)

posted 5 days ago with 3,662 notes
via:carysgotafanblog source:cuddlyhowell

larrycoincidences:

whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004 

posted 5 days ago with 312,473 notes
via:ofphanand5sos source:larrycoincidences

stilezs:

And it makes me think about that quote Jennifer used as start of our first class; ‘Cause when I feel it, it’s like.. I’m looking into the heart of an immense darkness.’

”So what do you do instead?”

I   l o o k   f o r   m y   f r i e n d s .

posted 5 days ago with 3,062 notes
via:dornfall source:stilezs

hula-chili-soup:

is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class

posted 5 days ago with 300,403 notes
via:elliegalaxies source:hula-chili-soup

lucidlecter:

i-dislike-tea:

kimpossibooty:

People don’t appreciate enough that Hogwarts had a giant squid in the lake. Not another magical beast. Not even a normal squid with magical properties. They just had a straight up giant squid in the lake and everyone was cool about it.

How did it even get there

Hagrid, probably

posted 5 days ago with 113,868 notes
via:g-queenofspades source:kimpossibooty

I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.

(Source: nevillles)

posted 5 days ago with 17,209 notes
via:g-queenofspades source:nevillles

kimpissible:

its so sad that every boy who dresses remotely nice is labeled as gay like thts not even offensive to gay people it just means straight boys dress like shit 

posted 5 days ago with 66,206 notes
via:savepunknroll source:kimpissible

troylerisinyou:

i guess you learn something new every day

posted 5 days ago with 336,502 notes
via:perfectharriestwins source:troylerisinyou

underhuntressmoon:

jemmasimmns:

one difference between cats and dogs is that dogs do absolutely nothing to mask their clinginess while cats pretend it’s a coincidence they’re in the same room as you 97% of the time

"The fact I am laying on your face means nothing"

posted 5 days ago with 393,367 notes
via:g-queenofspades source:jemmasimmns

thelunaticyouarelookingfor:

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer."

Now that’s a well done biblical license plate.

posted 5 days ago with 135,070 notes
via:g-queenofspades source:sernacht

rotting-orgasm:

emilydenisebones:

Oh shit

again.

(Source: cumsockmonkey)

posted 5 days ago with 145,038 notes
via:elliegalaxies source:cumsockmonkey
I Mumble

(Source: philswhiskers)

posted 5 days ago with 4,227 notes
via:marcusbumler source:philswhiskers

actionables:

today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED

(Source: actionables)

posted 5 days ago with 144,881 notes
via:g-queenofspades source:actionables

It was all too much—where was he? What was this place? Was it some kind of prison? If so, why had he been sent here, and for how long?

(Source: themazerunnerdaily)

posted 5 days ago with 493 notes
via:dylanharries source:themazerunnerdaily

(Source: ladyamypond)

posted 5 days ago with 7,114 notes
via:itsorganic-itsorgasmic source:ladyamypond